Taking down a box full of pictures and high school mementos from my closet, I find many photos and notes from old girl friends and boys I dated. I rarely think about high school. Not because it was a difficult time. It actually was so much fun. I was very involved in my church youth group and active in drama club and concert choir at school. I had some beautiful and precious girl friends. The busy-ness of homeschooling and gratefulness for today leaves little time to connect with the past high school gang.
Do you ever wish you could be like those movies? The ones where they travel back in time and leave a message for their younger self. When I do look back, I wish that I too could do that. I would tell my teen-young woman self to focus on Christ and the work God had for me to do those precious single years. You see I split my heart in those years. Half my heart was given to my savior and the other half was boy crazy. Too many romance movies had changed my view of what was important in the world.
I had a plan back in those days. It was called "The Friendship Plan." Thus a clue as to why When Harry Met Sally is one of my favorite movies. I spent a good deal of my time trying to work the plan. Here is the gist of it:
Step One-- Have a boy that is a close friend become my best friend.
Step Two-- The best friends realize one day that we have feelings for one another, more than "just friends."
Step Three--We date and fall in love. We have deep conversations, romantic dates, and the boy loves the Lord and leads us in regular Bible study. Yes, Bible study. For real!!!
Step Four-- The boy asks me to wear his high school ring.
Step Five--We get engaged, married, and live happily ever after.
In my letter to my younger self I would tell myself to ditch "The Plan", and understand God our Father is in complete control. He has a plan for you, younger me, and it is far better than yours. Trust in Him. Just grasping that attribute of God, His complete control, would have changed my whole thinking back then. It was not up to me, but up to Him.
I wasted so much time chasing guys. Time I should have been caring for my girlfriends, serving others, sharing the gospel. I also went for the guys that were basically jerks (self centered flirts). To all the sweet guys that asked me out or that I too shortly dated, I am so sorry that I always seemed to go for the guy that was not the "good" guy. Younger me, appreciate the gentlemen and lose the losers. Those smart sweet "geeks" are what's really cool.
When I met my man, I was still working the plan and hard. I was now in my mid 20's and not one guy had asked me to wear his high school ring. Not one. All those good ones I mentioned were either married or heading down the aisle by then. Where was my Mr. Right? "The Plan" did not include waiting this long to get married.
My cowboy was different than anyone I had ever dated, to say the least. As a matter of fact he wasn't like any man I had met before. The night we met he asked for my phone number. I thought he would never call me. I lived in Fort Worth and he in Oklahoma. How would we go on a date? I drove the three hour drive back home from that homecoming weekend exhausted from staying up late talking to my new Stetson hatted friend. After some much needed sleep in my warm soft bed at the home where I grew up, I called my girl friend to come over and hear about the guy I'd met. We rented 8 Seconds from Blockbuster. The movie 8 Seconds is the story of Lane Frost, the World Champ bull rider that died way too young. He too was known for his polite courteous country manners with fans. All those "ma'ams" and gentle down home ways reminded me of the new guy I met back in OKC. There is one particular scene in which Lane takes his soon to be wife on a first date to Whataburger. Sitting there in the booth he asks, "How's your Whatachicken?" Would these be what my dates with Stetson would be like? Not sure I was cut out for that. Remember step 3- Romantic Dates!
After saying so long to my best girl friend, I had just settled in to my bed when the phone rang. That low raspy voice was on the other line, "Hello." I cannot believe he really called. I asked if he even remembered what I looked like. "What color are my eyes?" "Sure I remember." He distinctly claimed. "They're brown, right?" Wrong answer. :) They are totally BLUE!!! We still joke about that.
He was calling from a phone booth. "I have to get my long distance turned back on so I can call you again." "Why was your long distance cut off?" I asked, between him adding more change to continue our call. He explained that he had met a guy down on his luck and invited him to stay with him for awhile. In return the guy ran up long distance calls on his phone, stole from him, and took off. You can imagine my absolute bewilderment as to how someone invites a stranger to live with him. This was the ways of the new man in my life. Let's fast forward a little through a word montage.
Cowboy came to visit me in Texas the next weekend after we met. He stayed with my best friends. I took him to Billy Bobs and locked my keys in the car.
He saved me from attack ducks at the park.
We took turns traveling back and forth from Fort Worth to Oklahoma city. We enjoyed cuddling and watching movies on the couch. No big dates, except he did like to take me to El Chicos. We also saw The Santa Clause with Tim Allen. I felt like I had my own "Tool Man" OOHH OOHHH OOHH OOh. For those of you who know Tim Allen's signature grunt from Home Improvement.
He took me to meet his granddaddy, the first family member I met. His granddaddy was a nationally renowned sculptor. His house looked like a museum. He had a model T car, antiques in every corner, and a dusty living room covered in bronze sculptures that he fashioned with his own hands. He giggled like a young boy as he shared stories about my man's nana, and how they met in World War II. Then the two relayed remembrances of many hunting trips they had shared, despite Grandaddy's hearing aid that squealed more than helped his hearing. It was my Cowboy's sweet love for his granddaddy that made me fall for him.
I made him a 14 Days of Valentine's with 14 little gifts for him to open everyday of February until V-Day. He, spur of the moment, had us head to the mall to pick out some chocolates from the candy booth. The lady let me pick whichever yummy chocolate drizzled treats I wanted. She placed them in a satin ruffled heart shaped box. MMMMMM!
Okie man loved to sing at the top of his lungs along to the country music on the radio with the windows rolled down. Still does today, only he has 4 voices joining in now.
He once made me a roast in a crock pot that he simmered for 3 days. He wanted it to be really tender. The longer it cooked the more tender, right?
He likes spicy food and I like mine mild. He once ate Mexican food soooooo spicy it brought tears to his eyes and sweat to his brow.
I tried to impress him with the only meal I knew how to make--BBQ pork chops, mac and cheese, and Ranch style beans. Wait, I'm a city girl!
This boy that had been stationed at Army base, Fort Polk in Louisiana taught me how to suck the heads off a crawdad.
My man has never met a stranger. He is friendly with any by-stander he meets, always striking up a conversation. In fact every where we go he is either visiting with folks we do not know or running in to old friends he used to know. Even when our family went to Disney World he ran into an old buddy from his hometown.
On a beautiful warm sunshiny day you might find us together by the pond. He would fish and I read a book. He loves the outdoors.
My grandmother gave him my grandfather's old tackle box. He still uses it today.
He yelled and cheered so loud at the Bullnanza (Yes, I went to a Bullnanza. There is a first time for everything.) the girl next to me asked if he could quiet down. His yee hawing was hurting her ears. I wanted to crawl under the seat. Even more so, when I realized she was a girl I used to go to church with and hadn't seen her in years. "Oh, it's Cindy from years ago here with really loud whooping cowboy."
Danced to Merl Haggard in concert. I bought the tickets as a surprise, and my cowboy dropped everything to drive down.
Let me tell ya. My guy can dance. You name a country dance-2 Step -yep- Electric Slide--yep--Cotton Eye Joe--you guessed it--Shoddish--no problem--Swing--oh yeah. My favorite--the Tush Push. That is something we had in common. I came from a dance background. Country dance was new to me, but just show me the steps and I will keep on up, honey.
He gave me a simple ring for Christmas. A promise ring that one day he would like me to be his. I gave him his first Bible.
My friends called him "Cowboy Guy" and he had to endure some of them telling him they were not sure he was right for me. The hardest one for him to endure was my homosexual friend, Larry, that I worked with at Dillards. I think my "Cowboy Guy" learned a big lesson that Larry was a great guy even though we did not agree on his life style choice. We love you, Larry, wherever you are now!!!!
He got in a fist fight over a poker game with his brother in law a week before our wedding. My biggest fear was that he would have a black eye on our wedding day.
We shopped for his whole family's Christmas presents at Walmart, and he wrapped them in the plastic shopping bag they came in.
We talked for hours every night long distance racking up the phone bill. But never on Monday night's during football season.
I taught his outside dog, Keeper, as in "She's a Keeper," the one that was not allowed inside or to lick you in the face--I taught her to come inside, lay on the couch, and give kisses. :)
Went to see Garth Brooks in concert with his sister. The best concert EVER!!!!
We would not want to let go of one another when it was time for him or I to head back across that Red River border that came between his home and mine. We would good bye and kiss forever. Sometimes I would cry. I got this terrible sick feeling down in the pit of my stomach. I was leaving part of me behind. It seemed like it would be way too long until we would be together again.
This man always stopped for stalled cars on the side of the road. Always! He never worried about the dangers, only those that might be stranded.
I taught my country boy to shut the windows at night, bolt the doors around the house, and keep his car locked. City life is not as trusting and free.
He taught me to try mom and pop places and to not plan every moment of my day.
My country man may not have planned elaborate dates or given me extravagant gifts, he was so different than what I ever dreamed of. Very different than the city guys I grew up with. He was stubborn and sure. He had no since of protocol. He followed the winding road, no plan needed. He did not own any dress clothes when I met him, only boots and jeans. He thought I was the most beautiful, amazing girl he had ever met. He told me so all the time. There were no games. If he felt something he said it. He encouraged me to do what was best for me. He cheered me on to try things I never thought I could do before. He wondered why I wasn't turning back to the God I claimed to serve so faithfully when younger. He was willing to try and figure out how to be a Godly leader if that was the man I needed. He always made me look him straight in the eyes. He told me he loved me a week after we met and he meant it. He was a mature man that could handle taking care of his woman. I was his "good" girl and he was a wild maverick.
Tune in next time and I will tell you about what happened when while we were dating, I was in Oklahoma City with my country boy on the day of the Oklahoma City Bombing of the Murrah Federal Building and then how my guy proposed to me under a meteor shower.
Until next time....
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