The Love Jalopy

Picture from Amazon

I joke with friends about Facebook (not that I have any problems with Facebook). I gently tease... let's say... that some folks sure do want to put their best foot forward. So, say I did have a Facebook page... would I create a page with wonderful pictures of my happy smiling family in amazing vacation spots? Updating my friends on my super romantic fabuloso marriage?  My husband's high-powered 4 figure job---oops I mean 6 (remember I am bad at math). Showing my homeschooling children, all in matching outfits, playing in their classical string quartet (even though there are only 3 of them :) ). Well friends, in this blog you get nothin' but the truth folks.

Let me introduce the jalopy:




Yes, this is my van. She was born in 1997 and is fondly named Safari (because of her model).

I want to share some humorous adventures with you that Safari and I have been on over the years.

First, Safari does not like to roll down her window on the driver's side. Well one day I pulled her in to Arby's, headed to the drive thru. Our Arby's happens to be next to the railroad track. Now remember Safari is shy about rolling down her window. So when the lady came on the speaker, "May I take your order?" I had  to open my door. Safari protested that I was talking to that drive thru lady, and she began to beeeeeeeeeeeep because her door was open. All just in time for the train to go by. Woooooooo Wooooooooooo. "Yes, I'd (Beeeeeep), like a (Wooooooo wooooooo). With a side of (Beeeeeeeeep) and a large (Wooooo Woooooo.)"  The question here is did the lady get my order straight? Did I get lunch that day? "Good Mood Food" you know :)

Next, I want to tell you that Safari is a reddish burgundy color. But she refuses to take a bath, so she looks dirt brown. I assure you I can see through that dusty windshield. I've had years of practice. I have tried to change her mind. "Safari you are really dirty don't you want a bath?" "No." She says, " I like the "Wash Me" engraved on my rear. Kinda like one of those lower back tattoos." What a rebel. "Maybe just let me take some of these fast food wrappers and junk off your floor board." "What and ruin my lovely aroma?" A nice mixture of sweat, car sick throw up, Mc something, and milk that has turned. Mmmm... better than Justin Bieber's Someday Fragrance at Macy's. I think!?!

Safari usually gets from point A to point B. We have had some point "B" for...Bad neighborhood. One time her windshield wipers stopped right in the middle of a rainstorm. I told you she does not like baths. I pulled off to a gas station. I did not have a cell phone at that time. I am thankful that this particular side of town's station still had a pay phone. (Remember those.)  The phone book that had been chained there had been stolen and I was very afraid to touch the receiver. Now Safari did pay for the call with some change she found in her ash tray. Mighty nice of her. But, God is good and He protected us. We've had "B" for ...Bad timing. One time Safari was in a very swank neighborhood. I was almost embarrassed to take her to this particular party. Not sure she would fit in, you know? Of course it was late when it was time to go home. Sure enough her headlights would not work. Sadly, I was too ashamed to go back in, so  I drove around the corner in the dark and parked. Just as my husband came to rescue me, one of the neighbors came out to see who had been parked in front of their home in a big van. Sorry Dude...No spying here.

Our kids have prayed many times for Safari. We've gotten in to head to McDonald's and she refused to go. Causing much weeping and gnashing of teeth. We have all counted to three and bobbed back and forth to get the gas flowing. I can only imagine what my neighbors must think, seeing all the Flemings sitting in the van swaying front and back, rocking the car.

One last story then I will get to the point of all my humor here.. Safari is one hot tamale! I mean hot folks. When the front air conditioning works, the back is broken. When the back is fixed, then the front is broken. I think the vents are playing a somewhat cruel joke. Well it's winter now so the jokes on them. Ha :)

These are funny stories that at the times did not seem so funny. But I want to tell you why I have such sincere endearment for my van. First and foremost there are many folks out there in our world that do not have any transportation. They must walk or ride a bike. Hard for us to think about in our culture. I hope that many out there relate to these stories because they have a "Schlep" too. (Remember him from Saturday morning Krofft Supershow?) You've been there. Some of these same situations hit home. I want to encourage you with the fact that God has provided my van, your vehicle. In my case, he has not seen to give me anything else yet. I am praying toward that end. But now I am content with His provision. Please let me testify that God is good. He has protected us in every way in Safari. She is a good van. I think we in America expect more than we need. She is paid in full and does her job. She's just an old-timer.      

Can I tell you the miraculous way we got her? My husband and I were in deep credit debt many years ago (praise the Lord we are debt free now but that's another story for another time). We had to sell our (then) van, move from our home, and shortly after he lost his job. Did I mention I had a brand new baby back then, as well? Right when we needed it the most Safari was given to us. Yes, given. (I won't mention the precious family that blessed us. I don't think they would want us to.)  She was beautiful back then. She ran like clock work. She smelled like new car. (How the person who gave it to us did that, I am not sure because she was a few yrs old then.) She sparkled and shined. I'm not sure the previous owners ever ate inside her. My husband drove her to his new job and she was our main vehicle for many years. She does her best to continue fulfilling her responsibility to arrive at our destination. She's just not in her glory days any more.

So for those driving a jalopy like mine. I hope you too see her with new eyes. My Schlep, becomes my Wonderbug. My Herbie, my Love Bug. My Jalopy is my Safari. She's no Mystery Machine, she's an adventure every time.

Disclaimer: For those worried about our arrival to destination status-- We do have another vehicle that is my husband's main ride. 

Take a look at these 2 favorite scenes from Facing the Giants:  

#1.***Instructions to watching scene one here: I could not find just the scene I wanted so you will want to fast forward to 1:07 to get to the scene with the car after the game. Then only watch to 2:45***

#2 This is how we felt when Safari arrived ......Blessed!